"Honey, You are my bad habit."

You are the evening cup of tea, a relief from the mundane affair called life. I run to you for a refill and you empty me of my sanity. Without you, I am a person who needs a fix. Perhaps, the joint of weed that a writer craves for when art refuses to happen to him? The stick of cigarette that  I crave for after my bowl of salad. A glass of wine that I cannot do without. The blood red lipstick that boosts my confidence, the little black dress and the raunchy pair of denims that make me feel good. The sleeping pills that I am addicted to.
You are everything on my shelf that I need, but will never want. We run in circles, always too cautious to step out of the comfort zone for the fear of getting burnt.  I know what we have will never be love, because Honey, you are my bad habit.
-Ayushee Ghoshal
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Day 3 #4AmConversationsPrompts:
Tell me about that bad habit? It can be a person, a place, a memory. Anything.
A big Thank you to everyone who is posting their #4amconversationsprompts
Love to read your 4 AM Conversations. Just makes me feel like all of us together in this big beautiful chaotic thing called life.
If you love writing, you can join in and spread the love for words. All you have to do is write a piece on the prompt given here and use the hashtag #4AmConversationsPrompts
Tag me in the pictures after you have posted a piece. At the end of this writing prompt,  I will be doing a give away.
Today's writing prompts is: "Honey, you are a bad habit." Use this prompt to write a 4 AM Conversation.
Spread the word. Tag your writer friends. Keep writing.
Cheers!

"We play dumb. But we know exactly what we are doing"

Denial, through the course of history of love, has been under rated. A safe evasive measure to fool ourselves and the world.
I am too stubborn to end this facade.
"I don't care much for what you do." Yet,  your breath causes a tornado in my heart.
You, you have too much of ego to accept that perhaps what we can't define is  nothing but love. Perhaps, both of us will realise our undoing years from now. But right now, we chose to live in denial and cloak our actions and inactions.
Perhaps, we are nothing but two different genres juxtaposed in the same shelf. Yet, nothing soothes me more than the warmth of your embrace. Perhaps, we are the favorite song on repeat that we will get tired of listening. But right now, only you can calm the storm in my heart.
There is no turning back, we know. Only stopping. Perhaps, all at once; without any said goodbye.  Nothing to say, only to watch, as we leave each other with a baggage and a lifetime of commitment issues.
But there has always been something about the flicker in your ambers eyes. It probes me, urges me to take a plunge into this thing called 'love'. We know, this flicker will leave us with nothing but ashes.
"I want to be free. To float in the lightness of being." You take my hand in yours. We stare at the endless rise and fall of the ocean.
"I know. So do I." I squeeze your palms. You squeeze them back.
In the stillness of the night, we play dumb. But we know exactly what we are doing."
-Ayushee Ghoshal
#4AmConversationsPrompts
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A big Thank you to everyone who became a part of the first #4amconversationsprompts.
If ou love writing, you can join in and spread the love for words. All you have to do is write a piece on the title of this article and use the hashtag #4AmConversationsPrompts
Cheers.
#GiveAway


Cheers!  #Giveaway
#4AmConversations
 http://ayusheeghoshal.blogspot.in/2016/12/we-play-dumb-but-we-know-exactly-what.html

Dear One Night Stand: It's Okay. You don't have to love me

Dear One Night Stand, 

Before we begin, let me tell you, let us treat this the way it is. I forbid you to use your tricks. You don't have to use your cliched sentences to make me believe that I am any different from all the girls you have slept with. I am well aware of your nefarious intentions and I hope you are aware of mine.  I am to you what you are to me. A piece of meat.

I won't come back to you at the end of the day or text you during my work hours. There will be no sappy messages or 2 AM calls. I won't hold your hands while walking in a desserted park or in public. I won't  kiss you underneath the street lamp. You dont have to strew petals on the floor to lure me to your bedroom. You don't have to know my favorite band, poet or book. You don't get to know what makes my eyes twinkle. Hell, you don't get to know me at all and I hope you will be kind enough to reciprocate in this game of not falling in love. I would hate to have an unrequited not-love. 

I am sitting next to you as you crush the last seed of iriki gold. While rings of smoke rise in the air from the cigarette pressed between my teeth, my eyes meet yours. We know what will follow. As the night ascends, your fingers trace every corner of my body.

The temperature in your room is too cold for someone with a migraine. Your bed is far too comfortable for me. Wrapped in your well built arms, I miss the hard mattress of his iron bed. 

Before you ask me out for another date, before you tell me you are not available 'that way', let us just clarify this small thing. Let us treat this the way it is. 

It is okay. You don't have to love me. -Ayushee Ghoshal

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4 AM Conversations is my Poetry Debut and it will be releasing all over India in 2017. If you want to stay connected, do subscribe to my posts. 

#4AmConversations 

"You" from my Debut poetry collection 4 AM Conversations

 

About a year and a half ago, during a sleepless August midnight, I had started the 4 AM series on my instagram handle; the response to which was quiet overwhelming and unexpected.
Quiet luckily, a traditional publishing house has found my manuscript worth publishing. I would take a moment to thank each one of you who followed my work on Instagram and elsewhere and constantly encouraged me to write.
My little book of poetry is called 4 AM Conversations and contains some of my personal favorite poems that I have written in the last three years. 
Sharing a small poem from the collection.
Will be looking forward to your support, suggestions and reviews.
Gratitude.