Monday, December 24, 2012

~~**~~Memories : Nostalgia ~~**~~

Memories act in a strange way. Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart.”They have a habit of knocking at our door when we least expect it to and there we are , thinking of every thing that we should have forgotten long ago. There we are standing alone in a crowded room admist loud music and shrieks of joy.

Yes I find myself in this situtation quiet often these days.I dont know whether its the winter effect but certainly I have turned quieter than I used to be. I am less cheerful than I used to be.I dont know if it is the December effect . But certainly I think more than I used to , I get angry. MORE OFTEN THAT I USED TO. I dont know whether its called growing old , but I certainly know a lil more about life.MORE THAN I USED TO.

Memories.Memories. I have some faint memories this winter.Faint memories of sitting on the shinning grass , gazing at the sun and dreaming of things that could have happened.Faint memories of laughter , hugs and kisses.I have the stinging memory of laying the person I loved the most to rest in her grave.I have faint memories of waking up one fine morning and knowing that my british flower was no more.I have faint memories of sobbing faintly every night. I have faint memories of unspoken words and unjumbeled feelings.The feeling of talking to my best friend and the faint memory of that one night when I lost that awesome friendship.I have memories of the endless wait , the feeling of destitute , the feeling of having something within you , smothering . In the end , I have memories of the things which never happened.Which could have happened..And it took me a long time to realize the fact that no matter what , you can never let go off these faint memories“Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.
Songs and smells will bring you back to a moment in time more than anything else. It's amazing how much can be conjured with a few notes of a song or a solitary whiff of a room. A song you didn't even pay attention to at the time, a place that you didn't even know had a particular smell.I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.