Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Dreaming about you and me,
waking up and knowing it ll never be.
You are always in my dreams,
I don’t know why, or what it means.
My dreams are filled with thoughts of you,
Us together, someday two.\ I lost something.
A very important part of me.
The worst part is that I probably never had it.
He came into my life a cool breeze.
Everyone knows that you can't catch air.
But I'm a fool and yes I tried.
And just when I thought I had him,
he slipped right through my fingers.
Dreams can never take the place of loving you.. Things left unsaid hurt the most. Yes words, denial and rejection hurt.. but decisions taken due to the inability to communicate and silence cause a pain which hurt even more . Everyday waking up with the nightmare and facing the reality that you can never be mine is a pain no one can take away. The pain that your love has given my heart cannot be taken away . The nights I cried for you can never be brought back again . The moments I lost can never be re – lived again. Dreams , the only place where you love me . A place where you are mine A place where all you do is for me , a place where you belong with me . But its just the abbreviation of love that I enjoy, because without you my empty and broken heart knows no joy . I try to walk the empty streets of this lonely city , trying to move on pretending that I never ever knew you . But that just makes me fall for you even more. It makes me love you even more. I try to hold on to something which was never mine and I get hurted in turn of holding on to something which was never ever mine. Never meant to be mine. But if you were never meant to be mine, it was surely quiet silly on destiny’s part to make me fall for you !! . I try I try to walk away like we were strangers, like you never came in my life but that just makes me love you more . I try I try my best to forget you. To live in the reality that I can never have you . But schizophrenia is what I go through. Through it do I enjoy your love. Through do I forget the pain of unrequited love !! And through it do I get hurt . I love you in my dreams. You are in my dreams and in reality you will always be my dream . I hold on to something which was never mine I try to walk away like you never came in the life of mine . Even though I pretend to have moved on .. There are still silent prayers for you and a broken heart which still loves you and cries for you . A heart which whispers in darkeness HOLD On HOLD ON HOLD ON …
I pray that you'll dream of me too... If only I could describe into words the feeling I have inside. As if I m under water and no matter how hard I kick my feet I just keep sinking deeper and deeper, until finely there is no more room for me to sink and I m stuck, as if I m a prisoner in my own pain. And I float there, at the bottom of everything and everyone. And I watch as the world slowly picks at my heart and soul until I no longer float but fall, and no one is there to catch me. And I scream, but nothing comes out, and I cry, but no one takes time to listen. So I fall. Thinking of the moments of pain the drove me sink so deep that I float and to float so far that I scream and cry and finely fall until I can fall no more it seems to simply be a reminder to get up and face the world. But as I do that and as my soul and heart crumble beneath my feet and I use every ounce of courage to stay standing, head up high, then I realise no matter how hard I kick my feet I will always end up sinking back down, so deep into pain, there is no point in standing proud. There is nothing to stand proud about, so I sink, then float then I fall and finally die for I can no longer hide and lick my wounds. My soul my heart my mind are all to scared I fall and fall and fall
No one to catch me , no one to wipe away the tears . it was always me alone and it is again me all alone again …
Dreaming about you and me .. waking up and knowing it will never be . I lost something an important part of me but the worst thing is I actually never had it . And until you were gone I didn’t know how it is like to loss something which was probably never your’s ..
And because I never had you I never thought it would hurt so much to LOOSE YOU ..