Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Musings 4 - La Douleur Exquise

You kept coming back to me in flashes and I lost sense of what was real. I preserved you in those tiny spaces where I had lost myself. But today, you stood before me in flesh and bone. I craved for your touch on my lips, on my soul, your arms wrapped around my waist. You kept coming back to me in form of long lost conversations, midnight rambles, drenched in street light pictures. But today, you stood before me in truth and beyond dreams and I only craved for a conversation left midway long ago.
The yearning for a long lost yesterday is heart wrenching. The exquisite pain of wanting someone you can never have. This yearning, I can almost touch it, but it is quick enough to slip from between my fingers. But you stand before me today and we talk about all the things lost, all the small talk that I had always considered myself incapable of, everything that had seemed possible around you, with you and yet, even when you balanced the conversation in your typical suave manner, I could think of nothing but the space between your nose and your chin that I will never kiss again.
For all the stifled feelings, for all the times that I wanted to declare my love for you but had to swallow it like venom, only to spit a pseudo speech of indifference and hatred, tonight, you stood before me and I could feel nothing but love gushing out from every nook and cranny of my being, chanting your name.

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Ayushee Ghoshal


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