Lets pretend the snow isnt the only thing falling fast

Dreaming about you and me,
waking up and knowing it ll never be.
You are always in my dreams,
I don’t know why, or what it means.
My dreams are filled with thoughts of you,
Us together, someday two.\ I lost something.
A very important part of me.
The worst part is that I probably never had it.
He came into my life a cool breeze.
Everyone knows that you can't catch air.
But I'm a fool and yes I tried.
And just when I thought I had him,
he slipped right through my fingers.


Dreams can never take the place of loving you.. Things left unsaid hurt the most. Yes words, denial and rejection hurt.. but decisions taken due to the inability to communicate and silence cause a pain which hurt even more . Everyday waking up with the nightmare and facing the reality that you can never be mine is a pain no one can take away. The pain that your love has given my heart cannot be taken away . The nights I cried for you can never be brought back again . The moments I lost can never be re – lived again. Dreams , the only place where you love me . A place where you are mine A place where all you do is for me , a place where you belong with me . But its just the abbreviation of love that I enjoy, because without you my empty and broken heart knows no joy . I try to walk the empty streets of this lonely city , trying to move on pretending that I never ever knew you . But that just makes me fall for you even more. It makes me love you even more. I try to hold on to something which was never mine and I get hurted in turn of holding on to something which was never ever mine. Never meant to be mine. But if you were never meant to be mine, it was surely quiet silly on destiny’s part to make me fall for you !! . I try I try to walk away like we were strangers, like you never came in my life but that just makes me love you more . I try I try my best to forget you. To live in the reality that I can never have you . But schizophrenia is what I go through. Through it do I enjoy your love. Through do I forget the pain of unrequited love !! And through it do I get hurt . I love you in my dreams. You are in my dreams and in reality you will always be my dream . I hold on to something which was never mine I try to walk away like you never came in the life of mine . Even though I pretend to have moved on .. There are still silent prayers for you and a broken heart which still loves you and cries for you . A heart which whispers in darkeness HOLD On HOLD ON HOLD ON …

I pray that you'll dream of me too... If only I could describe into words the feeling I have inside. As if I m under water and no matter how hard I kick my feet I just keep sinking deeper and deeper, until finely there is no more room for me to sink and I m stuck, as if I m a prisoner in my own pain. And I float there, at the bottom of everything and everyone. And I watch as the world slowly picks at my heart and soul until I no longer float but fall, and no one is there to catch me. And I scream, but nothing comes out, and I cry, but no one takes time to listen. So I fall. Thinking of the moments of pain the drove me sink so deep that I float and to float so far that I scream and cry and finely fall until I can fall no more it seems to simply be a reminder to get up and face the world. But as I do that and as my soul and heart crumble beneath my feet and I use every ounce of courage to stay standing, head up high, then I realise no matter how hard I kick my feet I will always end up sinking back down, so deep into pain, there is no point in standing proud. There is nothing to stand proud about, so I sink, then float then I fall and finally die for I can no longer hide and lick my wounds. My soul my heart my mind are all to scared I fall and fall and fall
No one to catch me , no one to wipe away the tears . it was always me alone and it is again me all alone again …
Dreaming about you and me .. waking up and knowing it will never be . I lost something an important part of me but the worst thing is I actually never had it . And until you were gone I didn’t know how it is like to loss something which was probably never your’s ..
And because I never had you I never thought it would hurt so much to LOOSE YOU ..

Never again will birds song will be the same - (P.S NOTHING PERSONAL )

I remember the day I first saw you because that was the day I whispered to my heart “are you ready to break” . I wish you would talk to me & tell me what you truly feel before I have to make a decision based on your inability to communicate . My eyes are filled with tears , my heart filled with pain , my body aching without you , my life is incomplete without you . I made a mistake will you forgive me ? I didn’t cry at first . I was in shock . I sat there and took the heartbreak in , then let it all out when I couldn’t have bare to keep it in me . To know how I feel you will have to walk in ,y shoes , but that cant happen so I guess you will never know . I hate that feeling that I will probably never have chance with you . Its hard to wait around for something that will never happen but also know hat it is all you have ever wanted . I just cant stop thinking about it . Its tearing me apart , I wish you could just holed me in your arm & say you love me . But I can see that will never happen , I have tried to reach you but you are getting farther away from me . Seems like I no longer in your need . I’ll take my step & walk away forever . No doctor can fix the pain I am feeling , no amount of time will heal the wound , my heart is shattering into million pieces don’t you see what your silence did to me ? You wonder why I don’t talk to you , its just that everything I want to say I cant tell you anymore . I need to find myself. Find what I want and what I'm like. Somewhere in the mix I lost myself. A mess is what I am, but a mess is not who I am. I just need out.. I lie to myself i will be OK. I tell others that i am fine. But deep down i know the truth i know that I'm falling apart and i have nothing to hold me together.. I will curse, I will pray, I'll re-live everyday. I'll shout out your name. I will laugh, I will cry, shake my fist at the sky. But I will not say goodbye. Why is it that I have all the answers for everyone else but can't seem to give myself any?? I'm always there to help others, but never help myself?!


I don't want to fall asleep, cuz I'm afraid to dream. I'm afraid to dream cuz I'll dream of you. I don't want to dream of you, cuz I know it'll never come true.. As I lay here I look at the sky and think of all that happened and say to myself

“never again will birds song will be the same
And to do that to birds was why he came”

My article at Vcherish.com - dedicated to my alma mater and my ex-classmates

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This article is dedicated to all my friends of carmel high school , Patna . A tribute to my alma matter , which is a sweet memory now !! For all those who miss their school and want those days back . ..

True love never dies

I remember his dark, mysterious eyes and his wild, yet so perfect, hair. His smile lit up the room. His name was Keith. When I was in sixth grade I had the biggest crush on him although I'd never met him. My best friend at the time, Kristen, had pictures of him everywhere. Every time I would go to her house, I would sit on her bed admiring his dark gaze and knowing deep down in my heart that he was the man of my dreams and the only guy in the world that would ever be perfect for me.

Kind of a strange thing for me to be thinking, considering I had never once in my life have spoken one word to him. But I just knew.

Eventually I made it to seventh grade. I moved up into the Jr. High with him (he was in eighth). On the first day of school I was so anxious to meet him. Kristen introduced us and right away we hit it off. Starting that day we talked endlessly on the phone. Sometimes I wouldn't realize what time it was and get off around 4 in the morning.

I loved talking to Keith. I told him everything about me, and he told me everything about himself. Soon we went on a "date" and really started liking each other alot. But, with my luck, another girl came along and screwed it up.

Don't think that we didn't talk after that. We became BEST friends. And the greatest thing was, we always had those hidden feelings for each other no matter if one of us had another significant other or not. There was always a great passion inside me for him that nothing could take away.

A couple years later, when I was a sophomore and Keith was a junior, something bad happened. I betrayed his trust and lied to him about something really important to him. I felt terrible but I could understand why he wasn't talking to me. This went on for about 2 months not talking and I missed him with all my heart. I prayed everyday for the lord to bring us back together because I know we were meant to be.

One day I got a call from Keith's mom saying that he was hit by a drunk driver and was in critical condition. Right then my heart stopped. I didn't want to believe it. This couldn't be happening. I loved him too much and we had a future together.

There would be no more going to restaurants together and spitting spit wads at the waitresses, no more shoulder to cry on and no one to tell my deepest darkest secrets to, no one to call in the middle of the night to just talk because I couldn't sleep, and no one to talk about our future plans together when we get married and are rich and have one baby boy. Worst of all, no more best friend.

That night I went up to the hospital to see him. He could barely talk at all. I looked at him and I cried. That's all I could do. I wanted him to forgive me, I wanted him to stay. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to pray. I wanted to laugh with him, I wanted him to live. But what I did instead was cry. Then he did something that I will never forget. He grabbed my hand and said these words: "Amy, I will never stop loving you. I love you with all my heart. You're my best friend, sister, and my first and only love."

Then he fell asleep. "I love you too Keith" I whispered and I slowly walked out of his room with tears streaming down my cheeks. The next morning I got another call from his mom. This time she said "I'm sorry Amy, Keith has passed away". I could hear the hurt and pain in her trembling voice. I cried, but then I remembered: True love never dies.

this is india of our dreams

Afsl guru is A patriot,BhAgat singh and sadvi are terrOrist godra kand is acident .. GUJRAT riots are preplAnEd .15% politicians re important 85% Indians r nt malegaon blast are the only blast R the other blast kiing 1000 diwali crackers?
5 politicians die in malegaon blast are important10,000 die in terrorist attack are not? crores of money for haj.non for amaranth..common rule policy” mumbaikars r humans biharis r animals IS THIS THE INDIA OF OUR DREAms?

bidding adieu to my alma mater

The first mile stone has been reached. Now is the time for excelling in bigger arenas of life, with the king size optimism and indomitable zeal for sweet success in the war zone of career.




12 glorious year spent in this school, the moments to be treasured, the morning bell…the mischief while the teachers used to teach .the lunch break. The gossips. The endless eagerness for results to be declared, .the 45 minutes period .endless waiting for 3:15, and so on and on, an endless list



The days have passed by and now the gentle thought fills my eyes with tears and an unknown fear grip our mind. The fear that now its time to bid adieu and part from those who are close to ones heart. Will it be easy to forget? From skirts to stylish dresses from chocolates to perfumes. From ABC to Antony Brutus and cassias’ speech, from 123 to trigonometry .it has been a long and eventful journey. .but with heavy heart n moistened eyes filled with tears I hear the sad music that plays in my heart the running to the morning school .the march past. the never ending gossips on the velvety grass, the fights, the basketball matches... the scolding of our teachers, waiting for the games period to play basketball l. bunking activity periods , hiding from teachers , the innumerable excuses in order to avoid punishments , the fabulous performance in the auditorium ,the mischief which we used to do while practice. It’s an interminable story. But now as I walk down the stairs each and every step takes me miles and miles apart from my beloved ones and everything flashes before my eyes like a sweet dream! It causes so much of pain to part from beloved ones was never known to me!
Though they cause pain in many ways we are bound to part with teachers and friends so close to heart. . I know the final bell has rung and there is no returning now! I often used to love this maxim of Shakespeare “FAREWELL GOD KNOWS WHEN WE SHALL MEET AGAIN..I HAVE A FAINT COLD FEAR THAT THRILLS THROUGH MY VAIN THAT ALMOST FREEZES UP THE HEAT OF MY LIFE.I’LL CALL THEM BACK TO COMFORT ME”. I never knew that I will speak them with such heavy heart and moistened eyes. It was hard to convince us that we will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.

I have spent almost 12 most formative years of my life in Carmel. Sometimes I really find this hard to accept the fact that I am no longer a part of Carmel family. The mind gets flooded with cherished memories of past which are now a cherished treasure. When I was somewhere between the age of 12 and 13 somewhere I read in black bold letters “SCHOOL DAYS IS THE BEST PHASE OF ONES LIFE..”Never did I realize the meaning of these words.
I have come a long way. Gone is the frightened, shy, insecure 3 and a half year’s old child too scared to even get up and ask even a single question. Instead there stands a confident young girl ready to embark on a new phase of life. I’ve often wondered about this transaction.. is it just one of those things that happened in the course of everyday living or is it perhaps something deeper something that needs to be thought about more deeply?
Tomorrow I shall perhaps face a ruthless world. One that gets even more challenging demanding more callous less forgiving and a lot less accepting. it is world where man kills man where money can buy anything including people where I am going to stand in such a world?

Carmel has given me a foundation on which I can successfully embark on the very adult business of earning a living. It has given me wings to aspire to great heights to be true to myself as a human being. Most important of all Carmel has given me faith in my self and god!!!By far the biggest thing that Carmel gave me is dream
I seek inspiration from these lines of Robert frost:

“ Woods r lovely dark and deep
But I , I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep

”

Stephen court – three days of mourning and terror!

A horrific reality caused more due to human folly where human lives were valued less than mobile towers!


Bangalore last month kolkata this time. Horrific scenes of men n women shouting for help & jumping to death from the 6 storey burning high-rise in a metro. The afternoon killer blaze took almost 30 lives, at least 3 of them whom leaped from the 5-6 storey. Charred bodies were recovered .Several missing. The fire broke out around 2 pm. The sky was blue one moment & black with smoke the next .Hundreds were caught in danger zone … Diners at Flurys ,Peter cat employees , Bpo employees ..Residents...The party zone of kolkata turned into mourning zone.



A women in sand colored salwar stood framed …WAVED…No one knew for What…May be to plead for help or to say goodbye….While people stood shrieking “DON’T PLSS .NO NO NO” she jumped! The sickening thud & a piercing wall pushed the shocked crowd few steps back. The window no longer existed .All that was left was flames...Many clung to narrow ledges climbed on air conditioner cages or hung from window sills that were so hot that they scaled their skin right off palms…They waved and shouted at passerby below but no one was there for help ..Some tried cable wires to come down but most of them fell…

The night mare on Park Street continued on Wednesday with police recovering dead bodies from the gutted entrails of Stephen court taking the toll up to 24... Most people killed were the recruits at the call centre & a couple of officers from the top floor s...Who had no clue where the stair ways of the building were located.


In the darkness of a staircase. A sudden ray of hope chocking on smoke, 18 young men nn women staggered up to what was there last refuge from the inferno engulfing the Stephen court offices...A few steps more & they would be on the roof safe alive. Only a door remained between them & survival .But” IT WAS LOCKED!


ONE can imagine the horror the 18 must have faced..Young happy executives with everything to live for .As the raging flames crept closer the smoke grew thicker, the stairs hotter, metal rods glowed red hot. With smoke filled lungs, they couldn’t even shout any longer .In sheer helplessness the sat down n waited for death .Some vomited out of fear .That was how the 18 bodies were found .Hunched over .mummified near the gate like a scene from Pompeii. Mercifully they All suffocated before flames crawled on their skin!



NO one had ever cared about the maintenance of these buildings .NO one ever asks why the doors were locked .No one ever pointed out the dangers of having lifts by the stair case. All escape routes were cut off... The only hope was the terrace which the 18 tried to reach – but the gates were locked to protect six mobile towers. I ask a simple question..were the mobile towers more important than human lives? The keys were with the care taker who said “I couldn’t go up during a fire to unlock the gates”



Flames simmered deep inside the affected portion of the majestic structure till late Wednesday afternoon while the roof of the fifth floor collapsed In intense heat prompting the civic authorities to declare the building unsafe or order immediate demolition of the two top floors .Firemen kept on spraying jets of water through the wrenched , twisted window frames of the ravaged building s late on Wednesday .The first group of rescuers that were able to get in the majestic place removed a dozen charred bodies. Hundreds of people gathered to get a glimpse of the ghastly scene. However police cordoned off the area. As rescuers cut through the wraps of twisted metals & melted rubbles the next day, they stumbled upon a pair of human limbs a clump of stiff melted blackened flesh ,strip of skin. The heat had been so intense that the skin had fused with metal. AS the gas cutters hissed through the metal beams pinning the corpse the head tilted to side & a tumble of golden dyes soft hair fell softly on the cinders .On of the rescuers held back a gasp .The team paused for a few seconds & got off to work again!. In two hours they found charred remains of another body & then another in 15 minutes stuck between the rods of the stair case looking like a chicken freshly cooked in tandoor with an extra tint of food colouring.By 10 pm the death toll at Stephen court rose to 40 . Still many missing and many fighting for their life in the hospital!

A little alertness on the side of the maintenance staff could have avoided this situation and saved many lives and protected many dreams from burning in the horrific fire!